


Guy Friends (Nordics x Reader)

by Emiliya_the_Cossack



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Brothers, Denmark is hilarious, F/M, Family, Gen, Humor, MAYBE Sweden reader if you squint, More funny than relationship, Sorry Finny isn't there, brothers and sister, friends - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-25
Updated: 2019-11-25
Packaged: 2021-02-26 00:55:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,340
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21564910
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Emiliya_the_Cossack/pseuds/Emiliya_the_Cossack
Summary: Because it's always a good idea to break into your friend's house while she's sleeping. Right?
Relationships: Nordics (Hetalia)/Reader
Kudos: 9





	Guy Friends (Nordics x Reader)

**Author's Note:**

> I originally posted this story on Wattpad AGES ago but I never liked how exclusive Wattpad was. So here it goes on the Archive. Hope you enjoy, everyone!

Having guy friends was one of the best decisions any young lady could make.

For starters, having guys for friends guaranteed you wouldn’t ever be messed with by the jerks at school. Second off, entertainment never lacked in any case. And to round the whole matter up into a nice present of wonderfeeness, there was a lot less drama having friends who were guys than having friends who were girls.

_____ liked having a even mix of both, but since her best friend Katie had left for the military, Megan had gone to ASL school and the rest of her female friends had either graduated or transferred to other states, the group of friends she spent the most time with happened to be the Kohler brothers and Berwald Oxenstierna, the exchange students that had been at her school the last two school years. Her “big brothers”, protectors, and now some of the closest friends she’d ever had.

They’d been there for her when Katie had left. They’d stood up for her when Cosmin had come to antagonize her. Never in her life had she trusted any man outside of her own family like she did these guys. So close were the five that Matthias had even suggested they come up with a family name for their group. They were practically siblings, in a way.

Which included the things that often go with siblings. Stupid, stupid dares.

She had been cleaning most of the morning, not to mention the procrastination involved with her computer, and now her drowsiness from reading too late the night before was beginning to catch up with her. After putting her sister down for a rest, she decided to lay on the couch for a bit.  _ Not like anyone needs me right now, anyway. _

Little did she know that’s exactly where the trouble would begin.

~oOo~

“Man she’s not picking up!”

Matthias Kohler hung up the phone and switched it to lock, frowning. He tried to smooth his wild blonde hair, but with little luck. It was, after all, his signature blessing and curse. Great hair, impossible to tame.

Luka looked up from his computer, somewhat pained at his brother’s loud and obnoxious speech. “She’s probably busy.”

“Yeah but _____ promised she’d come over and help us clean the basement,” Matt argued. He tapped the table impatiently, checking his phone every thirty seconds to see if she’d sent him a text. “Kirsten warned us if we didn’t clean this place up she was going to tell Mum and Dad. And we all know none of us can clean.”

This was true. Much as Luka hated to admit it, none of them seemed to be capable of keeping their things organized and tidied. _____ was the solution, and, though she threatened to expose the Kohlers and Berwald to the school for their inability to keep their rooms cleaned she did help them out. Sometimes it paid to have a friend who was a female. Particularly one who actually liked to organize and clean.

“I’m going over there.”

“The honda, the civic, truck and van are all gone,” Emil informed him. The youngest Kohler put another piece of his puzzle in. “No one is home.”

“She might be. She’s often home with her little sister or doing her own thing. I’m gonna check.” With that, Matt bounded up the stairs and to the front door, leaving Luka and Emil behind to ponder what sort of mishap their big brother would find himself in.

“Should we go too?” Emil asked at last, looking over at Luka.

“Why?” Luka scrolled through the article on practical vudu to use on older brothers. “He can handle himself.”

“Do we want to go?”

Now that was a good question. Did they want to? Perhaps Matt would get himself arrested for entering the _____’s house without permission. That could be entertaining to watch.

“I think we do want to go,” Luka said at last. He slapped the laptop shut and stood, beckoning Emil. “Text Berwald where we are. He’s at the library.”

It didn’t take them long to catch up with the oldest Kohler, who had gotten sidetracked one house down chatting it up with the neighbor. Sighting Emil and Luka, though, he bade his farewells and trotted back to the road, flashing a mischievous grin.

“You came to join me?” he asked cheerfully.

“We came to watch you go to jail,” Emil huffed.

“Okay fun. The aspire is gone too. You guys might be right, perhaps they’re all off doing something.”

Together the three boys made their way down the street to the house of interest, the _____ residence. A comfortable sized home with a friendly atmosphere and clean appearance. The only abnormality- how many people lived there. It wasn’t everyday one met a family of nine kids with six of the children still at home.

Matt marched right up to the door, not even bothering to knock before trying the handle. “Oh, it’s unlocked!”

“Fantastic.” Luka stepped back. “You go in first and we’ll tell the police you’re inside.”

Matt either didn’t hear him or was completely ignoring him. Most likely the latter, for some reason the Dane couldn’t take an offense over anything. He disappeared into the _____’s home, his heavy steps echoing on the stairs as he made a mad dash for the upper level.

“Anyyyonneee hooommmmeee!” Luka heard him shout.

Well, if anyone was home than they’d make that clear. Otherwise Matt would be charged with breaking and entering.

Then again, if someone was home and didn’t want him there, he could be given a felony since there was a resident inside the house when he’d gone in-

Back at the door Matthias appeared, his eyes wide and lips twitching. He appeared to be trying to suppress a grin. He pointed up the stairs with a low chuckle, beckoning to his brothers. “Guys, come upstairs. You have to see this.”

“Is anyone home?” Emil asked, attempting to mask his uneasiness at going into the house with a hint of arrogance in his voice.

“Yeah _____ is but come upstairs!”

Matt didn’t give them a chance to question him, he grabbed Luka’s arm and jerked him in, only to be bonked on the head in retaliation. “Oww, Luka!”

“Don’t touch me,” Luka warned.

“Fine fine, come on!” Matt signaled them to be quiet, then slinked his way up the stairs.

They were already in the house now, and since _____ was home they shouldn’t get in too much trouble. No reason to hold back. Luka shrugged at Emil, then followed Matt up the stairs and into the living room.

Matt stood over the couch, his obnoxious grin growing wider and wider. He pointed at the figure with a suppressed giggle.

“Matt,” Emil whispered.

“Matthias,” Luka growled.

Matt’s smirk was at its maximum. The Dane reached down and tugged a little strand of the girl’s hair, causing her to moan. “She’s asleep,” he whispered loudly. “And I dare you guys to kiss her.”

~oOo~

The looks on his brother’s faces was priceless. Emil was horrified. Luka ready to strangle him. It didn’t matter to Matt, his excitement levels had gone haywire and the dare was just too good for him to pass up. _____ was lying on the couch with her hands tucked under her chest, curled up like a little kitten. Ordinarily Matt didn’t think of his best female friend as cute- she was kinda ordinary looking in his opinion- but right now he couldn’t get over how sweet she looked. He was reminded of a baby seal, or perhaps a little foal. Something cute and little and adorable like a baby animal. And the fact that she hadn’t woken up when he’d come running up the stairs confirmed she was a heavy sleeper.

This was just too good not to try.

“No,” Luka said at last, blue eyes darkening. He put a hand to the stairrail, his motives clear. “Jerk. We shouldn’t be here. She’s home alone.”

“Hey her family’s cool with us, we’re practically adopted.” Matt waved it off. He couldn’t help it, he put a hand down and tickled her chin, causing her to let out a small snort. Hehe, she was adorable! “Come on. Emil! I’ll give you five bucks if you kiss her.”

Emil shook his head, stepping back. His cheeks turned a tinge of red, eyes wide at the thought. “No thanks!”

“Come on she’s older than you, it’s not like it’s serious. It’s just fun!”

“She’ll kill me if she wakes up,” Emil snapped.

“Ten bucks.”

There was a slight change in his expression. Ah, he was considering it! Matt upped his temptation. “Fifteen.”

“Fifteen?” Emil mused.

“Really, brother?” Luka said with disdain.

“Twenty. Final offer.”

It did the trick. The greed had taken over his senses, despite the fact he still looked like a nervous schoolboy. “Okay fine. Twenty it is.”

“Do it, bro!” Matt chortled, stepping away from _____.

“You two are idiots,” Luka sniffed.

It was too late for Emil to back down now. The seventeen-year-old cautiously approached the couch and sleeping girl, coming to stand over her. He glanced at Matt, gaze narrowed. “You better pay up.”

“Promise,” Matt assured him.

With a deep breath, Emil closed his eyes. Then with a quick jerk he gave the girl a quick peck on the forehead. She stirred a little but didn’t wake up, muttering something under her breath about penguins.

“That doesn’t count!” Matt hissed when Emil turned and put his hand out for the cash. “Besides the money is at home.”

“You didn’t tell me where,” Emil taunted quietly, not about to wake up their friend. “And I know you have money.”

Matt opened his mouth to respond, to argue that if Emil wanted the cash he’d have to do a real kiss, but was hit in the back of the head by a pillow. “Oww!”

Luka sauntered over, another pillow in hand. “Pay up, brother.”

“Bro seriously! That didn’t count!”

“Who says?”

Before Matt had a chance to respond, Luka bent down next to _____-  _ and kissed her on the cheek. _

He came back up with a smirk on his lips and his hand out as well. “There. You owe me twenty, too. Pay up.”

“But- but that’s not fair!” Matt protested. “You didn’t really kiss her!”

“Give us the money.” Luka held up the pillow, aimed at Matt. “Or we attack.”

“Pillows don’t scare me,” Matt muttered.

“Fine. We’ll wake  _ her _ up.” Emil put his hand to _____’s hair, her locks in his hand for a tug. He was catching on quick, caught up in the moment with Luka. “And tell her what you dared us to do.”

That could end bad. In fact he knew it would end bad. _____ was not the kind of girl who just let guys kiss her. In fact as far as they knew she’d never been kissed by anyone outside of her family. She’d never had a boyfriend and wasn’t interested in getting into relationship. If she knew they’d done this…

There would be, well, heck to pay.

That left only two choices.

“Okay, cowards. I’m going to win my money back from you two,” he announced. Pointing at their American friend, he leaned in and whispered, “Forty bucks. I kiss her on the  _ mouth. _ ”

“That’s only worth thirty,” Luka sniffed.

“Agreed,” Emil voiced.

“You have to kiss her on the mouth  _ and _ hold it for…” Luka checked his phone, “fifteen seconds.”

Matt’s mouth fell open. His brothers met his gaze with looks of triumph. They could not be serious. Fifteen seconds? That, that… that was crazy and insane and if she woke up…

He would probably lose his life. This was the sort of dare that Matt  _ loved. _

“Done!”

Before he had another chance to think about it, he leaned down and placed his lips on _____’s-

Only for her to open an eye at that second.

Three things happened. One, she shot her arm out and shoved him away. Two, she screeched and leapt up, stumbling over herself to back away from her kissing assailant. Three, Matt was kicked in the ribs with force, then pulled up by his hair to face his older cousin Berwald, who had the look of an angry mother moose who was going to kill someone for looking at its child.

Nevermind he was neither female and _____ was not his child, Matt had no doubts Berwald was thinking murder.

“Matt!” _____ cried, her voice catching.

“Hmmm,” Berwald growled, grip tightening on Matt’s hair.

“Stupid brother,” Luka commented.

“You owe us, still,” Emil added.

Matt chuckled and held his hands up, looking from the petrified _____ to the fuming Berwald. “Okay guys, I can explain-”

A pillow sailed through the air, intended for Matt’s face. Instead it hit Berwald and his glasses were knocked off, leaving him to fumble the air and then releasing Matt’s hair to try and find them on the ground. Matt took this as an opportunity to flee his impending doom and run for the hills.

“I’m sorrryyyy!” he yelped, the sound of _____’s light footsteps behind him. “I’m sorry sorry sorry it was a prank!”

“Matt you big jerk I’m going to kill you!”

By the time _____ and Berwald caught Matt they’d had plenty of time to think of what to do with him. Berwald pinned Matt to the ground and _____ took it upon herself to pour a bottle of honey all over his face and hair, then smear dirt all over him. Luka and Emil stood in the background, grins on their faces and cheers of encouragement escaping from their lips.

Needless to say that was the last time Matt ever suggested that prank ever again. Not only had he gotten creamed, he’d lost forty dollars to his name and had a lot of explaining to do when _____’s parents arrived back home from shopping.

It wasn’t a mistake he would make anytime soon.

_ The End _

**Author's Note:**

> Ahhh, Matt, you're such a dork. XD Hope you enjoyed this short story, thanks for reading!


End file.
